


Half of My Heart

by CaribMermaid



Series: Daredevil Continued [4]
Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Violence, Drinking to Cope, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Past Relationship(s), Rage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 17:28:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22420063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaribMermaid/pseuds/CaribMermaid
Summary: Matt still hurts for Elektra and can’t move on. Karen uses her investigator skills to help Matt find closure.
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Karen Page, Matt Murdock/Elektra Natchios, Matt Murdock/Karen Page
Series: Daredevil Continued [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1482635
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	Half of My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This Daredevil story was inspired by John Mayer’s song Half of My Heart. Thanks to Quietshade, LilyEllison and Irelandhoneybee for being my beta readers. This story is a standalone story taking place after Daredevil season 3 and after they open their Nelson, Murdock and Page office at Nelson’s Meats.

It is the anniversary of Elektra’s disappearance at Midland Circle. Matt finds her funeral memoriam card that he kept in his bible. Now he is holding it in his hand, wondering where she could be. Is she dead or alive? Was she able to escape the Midland Circle explosion or was she helped by someone else? So many questions are going through his head.  
  
He feels his sadness quickly turn into rage. 

Why does he have to deal with her absence once again? He wants to go on with his life and start a new relationship with Karen. He already tried before and failed miserably, in part because they were keeping so many secrets from each other and in part because he can never bring closure to his relationship with Elektra. She broke his heart so many times but somehow he can never stop looking for her. Not explicitly, but every time he goes out to fight crime, he is always on the lookout for her, a clue or a trace that could bring him to her. He violently throws the memoriam card to the floor with a growl of frustration and decides to go fight crime. 

His first “victims” are a couple of young men doing a drug deal in a dark corner. He beats them so hard that their bloody faces are unrecognizable, and they remain unconscious on the ground while he ties them up. Then he makes an anonymous call to the police to report them.

He moves on to his next target: A pimp who is beating a prostitute because she didn’t bring the money that he was expecting from her clients. He grabs him and beats him so hard he is sure he broke at least one of his arms, but he doesn’t care. He needs more. His rage is not over yet.

The next one is a guy running away after stealing merchandise from a gas station. He catches him and starts punching his face like he did with the previous ones, but he suddenly realizes something. He is so young and sounds so much like the teenager that Elektra killed at his apartment. He suddenly stops and his face is full of terror. Will he become like her? Full of rage and violence, and using the excuse of fighting crime just to release it? Will he lose his control eventually and become an assassin just like her? He waits to calm down. The kid is crying and afraid, lying on the floor, asking for forgiveness, his tears mixing with the blood on his face. Matt decides to give him a chance and takes him to the gas station to return the merchandise and leaves. 

He goes to his apartment. With his shaking hands, he opens a beer and drinks. He keeps drinking until he feels numb and goes to bed. 

The next morning he arrives at the law firm a little late and quickly goes to his desk to submerge himself into work. Karen is already out and about working on one of her cases. 

Foggy arrives and quickly goes to him. “Hey, buddy! I brought you some coffee,” he says, handing the cup to Matt. “You look like you need it.” 

“Thanks, Foggy.” Matt takes a sip and Foggy notices his bruised and swollen knuckles. 

“So how was your search for justice last night?” Foggy tries to sound casual but Matt notices the concern in his voice. 

“I don’t think I found it,” Matt answers and continues to read documents. 

Foggy gets the hint that he really doesn’t want to talk and steps up. “Well if you need anything, I will be right here at my desk beside yours.” 

_So much for privacy,_ Matt thinks _._ Now that they are working from Nelson’s Meats their makeshift desks are just an arrangement of tables positioned wherever there is space. He remains distant the rest of the day and Foggy tries to lighten up his mood by making jokes and having a light conversation. Matt is starting to laugh and be more like himself until Foggy tells a funny story from college that reminds Matt of Elektra and his mood changes immediately. 

“Hey, it is getting late. I will go throw some punches at Fogwell’s.” Matt stands from his desk and starts packing.

“No Daredeviling tonight?” Foggy asks, standing up too.

“No, I am taking a break tonight.” He walks to the door and Karen arrives at that moment. 

“Hi,” Karen says. “I finally get to see you.” She smiles at him. 

“Hi, Karen, I will see you tomorrow.” Matt acts like he is in a hurry and exits the office, closing the door behind him. 

“Wow, someone is in a hurry today.” Karen walks to her desk and settles her stuff while Foggy follows her.

They wait for a little while until they are sure Matt is far enough from the building to not hear their conversation. 

“You know I just realized that yesterday was the anniversary of the Midland Circle attack,” says Karen while putting her hand to her forehead. 

“You are right. How could I forget that? I feel like an idiot. That explains his bad mood all day.” Foggy throws his hands in the air and sits at one of the chairs, loudly exhaling. 

“Do you know where he was going or what he was going to do?” Karen asks, concerned. 

“Yes, he told me he was going to Fogwell’s gym to throw some punches.”

“I don’t think he should be alone. I'm going to see him.”

“Yes, I think that is a good idea. What is the worst that can happen? Him pushing you away? Ha!”

They take their belongings and close the shop. Foggy takes a cab home and Karen takes another one to Fogwell’s.

Karen enters the gym and finds Matt punching the big bag. His knuckles are bloodied and there is blood on the bag too but he doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t stop. 

“Hey, I didn’t have a chance to talk to you today,” Karen says, getting closer to him. “I hope you don’t mind, I just wanted to check on you.” 

“Hey,” he responds without stopping.

“You know your knuckles are bleeding, right?”

He stops and stands besides the bag, panting, pensive, and twitching his fingers. The wraps around his hands are red with blood. 

“I can help you change your bandages if you have some extra ones and alcohol,” she says with a concerned voice.

“There is a kit with alcohol and wraps in the gym bag.” He walks towards a bench and sits while she searches in the bag. 

She finds the kit and sits beside him, putting the kit by her side. She takes one of his hands and delicately starts to peel the wrap away. “You know, we have been working together for several years and yet we know so little about each other.” She continues to unroll the wraps and he licks his lips and swallows.

“Don’t worry, I am not going to ask about your past. Unless, you want to talk about it.”

“I’d rather just listen,” he responds with a tiny smile. 

“I don’t think I ever told you about my mother. I lost her after a long battle with cancer when I was in high school. I thought everybody was expecting me to take her responsibilities. Help take care of the house, the family’s diner, my brother Kevin and my dad. I felt like I was trapped in the house with her memories and all the responsibilities and I wanted to escape. So I did, every night for a couple of hours I would go with my friends from school to drink some booze and smoke some weed. That is how I met my ex-boyfriend. Todd was nice and sweet and he listened to me. He was older so he could buy alcohol for us but he was also a drug dealer. I felt so carefree when I was with him, I loved the way he made me feel so I started to spend more time with him. He introduced me to drugs to help me relax, sleep or stay alert while I was working at the diner after school. I became dependent on him and the drugs, and my family started to notice; especially Kevin.” 

She finishes unwrapping that hand and delicately grabs the other. He continues listening to her very attentive, almost mesmerized. 

“One day Kevin and I had a confrontation because I decided to defer to college but he filled out the college application for me and sent it without my permission. We had a fight and I left with Todd. We drank and did drugs and I got very intoxicated.” Karen finishes unwrapping the second hand and grabs some gauze and soaks them in alcohol.

“This will sting.” She cleanses his wounds with the gauze. He hisses a little but she continues.

“When Todd and I went back to his trailer we found it on fire and Kevin was there. Todd and Kevin started a fight, Kevin was accusing him of ruining my life and Todd was furious because Kevin lit the trailer on fire. He grabbed a crow bar and started to hit Kevin with it. I told him to stop but he didn’t listen and pushed me away. I grabbed a gun and shot him, taking Kevin away with me on our truck. We had a fight while I was driving and crashed the car, causing Kevin’s death. My father kicked me out of our house and I had to leave town.” 

Matt’s lips are parted, his eyes wide open, his expression is a mix of consternation and sympathy. 

Now she grabs the new wrap and starts to roll it around one of Matt’s hands. “After that I decided to change my life, get clean, deal with the loss in my life and start a new life. I came to New York, and met you and Foggy. You saved my life and became my new family. You know the rest of the story,” she said with a smile. 

“Thanks for telling me this.” His expression now one of compassion. “You are the strongest person I have ever met. I don’t think I am as good as you at dealing with loss.”

“Who said I was done dealing with loss? I don’t think I ever will be. But you guys give me hope and raise me up when I am down. I just hope we can do the same for you.” She finishes wrapping the first hand and continues with the other. 

Matt reflects for a while and then talks. “I am still struggling with Elektra’s loss.” 

Now it’s Karen’s turn to listen to his story and she is in pain because deep down she is still bitter at Elektra for breaking their relationship. The precious friendship between Foggy, him, and her, and the blossoming romance between him and her. But she is eager to find out more about the woman for whom Matt was capable of giving up his whole life. 

Matt starts to tell Karen how he met Elektra at college and fell in love with her. How she discovered his secret identity. He tells her about the day Elektra brought him to the house of the man who killed his father so that he could kill him. He tells her how disappointed Elektra was because he could not kill the man, so she abandoned him. Then she came back right when he was starting a relationship with Karen. How entangled he became with Elektra again without even noticing. He tells her everything he knows about Elektra. 

When Matt finally finishes, Karen takes a deep breath. Their story is incredible but she knows he is telling the truth, she sees the pain in his eyes. 

“I just want to know what happened to her. I have been searching for her all this time but I don’t have a clue. The last thing I remember is that we were embracing each other when the building collapsed.”

“So you have been discharging all your anger and frustration at any criminal that crosses your path.”

“Pretty much. I think I almost took it too far last night.”

“I understand,” she says and finishes wrapping his hands. 

Matt makes fists on top of his lap and Karen places her hands on top of his. 

He continues: “I didn’t expect you to come into my life. I didn't expect to fall in love with you. I always pushed people away when they got close to me, that is why I never had a lasting relationship. The longest one being Elektra and it ended in disappointment. I wanted to try being a normal person with you and hide the other half of my life. But then Elektra came back into my life and it reminded me what it felt to be myself with someone, to have and enjoy both parts of my life. But once again she disappeared from my life and I felt empty. I needed to share both sides of my life with someone again, that is why I came to you and revealed my secret. I knew I hurt you pretty bad, and I didn’t deserve your forgiveness. I wasn’t expecting to have the same with you that I had with Elektra. I was just tired of pretending to be someone that I am not with you. And I was hoping for you to forgive me and hopefully start something new and real.”

“I appreciate you being honest with me.” She pauses, looking at him. He looks so vulnerable without his glasses or mask, no “barriers” between them. “You know I will always be there when you need me and that I will never leave you,” she reminds him with a tentative smile. Matt’s face is down but his hands are relaxed now. It's getting late so she gets up from the bench, cups his face with her hand and gives him a kiss on his forehead. “We should go home and get some rest.” She releases his face and grabs her purse, Matt packs his belongings into the bag and they both walk outside the gym. They call a taxi and Karen gets in. 

She opens the window and says: “Good night, Matt. Please call me if you need anything.” 

He nods, the taxi leaves and Matt walks home. 

Karen goes to her apartment, all the things that Matt said still revolving in her head. She understands that what he needs is closure, and she wants to give him that, the closure that she never had after her loss. She can understand him perfectly. 

Then her own thoughts invade her: “What happens the next time Elektra shows up again?” “I can't leave it to faith, I need to do something.” 

She grabs her laptop and starts researching Elektra, her past businesses, her possible locations, her aliases. She starts digging deeper into the members of “The Hand”. She spends all night, then days and weeks going home as soon as she leaves work to do more investigation. She tells Foggy and Matt that she is doing some PI work for a client whose boyfriend disappeared and who hired her to locate him. She thinks mixing some truth into it will help avoid Matt figuring out she is lying. It seems to be working, he doesn’t ask for more details and he seems too busy himself, fighting crime day and night, to notice. Foggy is also pretty busy helping his parents pack to move to Florida when he’s not hanging out with Marci. 

Karen is finally able to find some information on Elektra. She is in fact still alive, though Karen is not sure how she escaped Midland Circle. She stayed in Europe for most of the time after that but she came back to the U.S. about a month ago. She is renting a condo farther north but close to the city. Karen decides to pay her a visit. She calls the office that morning and Foggy answers. Perfect. 

“Hey, Foggy, I just wanted to let you know that I will be doing some PI work for the client I told you about. I will be out of the city for the next couple of days.”

“Sure, call me if you need anything, and Karen, be careful.”

“Thanks, Foggy. Please tell Matt, okay? Bye.”

She drives to the location where Elektra is staying, and decides to wait. She wants to see if Elektra is really there, observe her routine and come up with a plan. Night falls and suddenly Karen sees a car pass her and park in Elektra’s garage. The car windows are very dark and she is not able to see inside so she decides to go and knock on her door. After much knocking and ringing the bell no one answers, so she retrieves back to her car and waits until morning. 

_Now Elektra knows I am looking for her,_ Karen thinks. _But she won't be able to avoid me forever._

The next day comes and Karen is half awake when she notices the garage opening. She quickly gets out of the car and runs to the garage. She gets inside to take a look. Suddenly, Karen feels someone grabbing her and putting her against the wall, facing her attacker. 

Elektra is holding Karen’s neck with one arm and holding the sai close to her face with the other. Karen tries to talk but she can’t, she tries to break Elektra’s hold on her but fails. She quickly grabs the pepper spray from her keychain and sprays Elektra’s eyes with it, taking her by surprise. Elektra releases Karen and covers her eyes with her hands, cursing in French.

“Listen, I just want to talk with you, not fight. You can’t just come and go from Matt’s life, he doesn’t know what happened to you. He needs to know, he needs closure.”

Karen takes a deep breath and swallows, her neck feels sore, and she is out of breath. Elektra can’t open her eyes and looks in pain but is calmer. 

“I can help you clean your eyes if you promise not to hurt me and listen.”

Elektra agrees. Then Karen helps her walk to the kitchen sink and flushes her eyes with water. 

“How is he?” Elektra asks while wiping her face with a kitchen towel. 

“He is having a hard time lately, but he would not admit it, that is why I am here. I think you owe him an explanation of what happened at Midland Circle and why you disappeared.”

“There are several reasons why I stayed away.”

“Yes, I know, Matt told me about Stick and his bullshit codes.”

“I see that he told you about us and his secret identity.” Elektra throws the towel on the counter. “You know, I was the one who suggested to him to let people in. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be together.”

“We are not together. But thank you, I guess.” Karen replies sarcastically. “So are you going to talk to him?”

“I will talk to him whenever I damn well please.” Elektra walks to a chair in her living room and sits. 

“I will have to tell him that you are alive. We promised each other not to keep secrets anymore.” Karen walks up to her. 

“Hmm, that is sweet.” Elektra smiles. “Does he know you are here?”

“No, but I will tell him, like I said.”

“Well I got your message, so get out of my house. And the next time you come here, you won’t get out alive.” 

Elektra gets up from the chair and escorts Karen out. Karen returns to Hell’s Kitchen that night. She’s finished her mission, now it is up to Elektra and Matt to resolve their mess. 

A couple of days pass after Karen talks with Elektra but things remain the same. She is starting to feel concerned. She decides to give Elektra a couple more days before talking with Matt to reveal that she is alive. Then, late that night Matt is on his rooftop, listening to the city sounds, when he smells a familiar perfume. 

“Elektra, is that really you?”

“A certain blonde friend of yours came to see me the other day,” she says, getting closer to him. “I have to give it to her, she has balls. I can see why you like her. She should be thankful that I wasn’t in a killing mood that day. Anyway, she convinced me to come talk to you.” 

She now stands by his side. “When the building collapsed in Midland Circle, I was able to get out with you. I left you at the riverside, called a taxi and sent it your way. I changed my identity and escaped to Europe. I stayed there for a while working.”

“Working?” Matt scoffs.

“Doing what I do best Mathew, being an assassin.” She puts her hand on his shoulder. 

“I love you but I can't stop being who I am, and who I am is incompatible with who you are,” she says looking at Matt, pain in her voice. 

Matt knows it, he knows that if he goes back to her their relationship is bound to crash and burn, like it always did. 

“I am just glad you are okay.” 

He doesn’t know what else to say. She is finally in front of him, after so much searching for her, and he is out of words. 

“You have that light in you, don’t let it fade away. Keep doing what you love, in the city that you love with the woman that loves you.” 

She cups Matt’s face and kisses his lips tenderly. They both know that this is their last kiss, but this time it is because they both have decided it.   
  
Matt can’t wait to see Karen after talking to Elektra. He goes to her building and knocks on her window. It is very late, but he doesn’t care, he needs to see her now. After much knocking Karen wakes up and realizes Matt is at the window and opens it for him. 

“Matt, is something wrong?”

“You went to see Elektra. That was both stupid and brave,” Matt says, getting inside the apartment. 

“I know. I just couldn’t see you suffering anymore. I just wanted you to have closure. Besides, we tend to do a lot of stupid shit for each other. Don’t you think?”

He smiles, opens his arms, and hugs her. She hugs him too and feels like she doesn’t want to ever let go of him. He takes a deep breath, he is taking her in, her smell, the sound of her heartbeat, the feeling of her warm body against him. He feels so grateful to have her in his life. He wonders if God is finally paying him back for all the good he has done for other people. 

He separates a little from her and finds her lips. They kiss, they finally kiss and it feels like heaven. They have been waiting for so long for a moment like this, and it feels so natural and spontaneous. She stops kissing him and grabs his hand. “Come with me,” she says, guiding him. They finally reach her bed and she continues to kiss him. Their kisses become hungrier and hungrier and they take off their clothes in a rush. She is so ready, they have been foreplaying for years without knowing. She just wants him now and Matt knows it. Before Karen even notices, Matt is on top of her. 

“Can I?” he whispers into her ear. 

She feels electric currents flowing down her body.

“Yes, please” she replies, almost out of breath. 

She can feel him getting inside of her and it feels so good, it feels like finding the long lost piece of an incomplete puzzle to have all of him finally. He is thirsty for her but slows down and sinks deeper into her so they can enjoy each other and enjoy the moment. 

She remembers Frank’s words at the diner: “You sit here and you're all confused about this thing, but you have it. You have everything. So, hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go.” 

She wraps her arms and legs around Matt, and follows his rhythm. Their sensations are building up, it is becoming too much to handle, it is overwhelming. They are at the edge and finally let go, they jump off the cliff together and are flying. 

When they finally reach the bottom they lay side by side and look at each other smiling. They have their perfect night, and they can keep it going tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and there is nothing that can stop them. They complete each other and heal their wounds. They take refuge in each other and they find peace, at least for a moment, but it is theirs, it is their refuge.

**Author's Note:**

> It took me a while to write this one. To be honest, i didn’t like how the show portrayed Elektra and how they decided to go to the love triangle route. Having said that, i like the contrast between these three characters and how they influence each other in their decisions, even without realizing it, so i wanted to explore that aspect here. Also, i wanted to explore the things that Elektra and Karen have in common, like their love for Matt and their fearless determination to do what they think is right.


End file.
